Almost 10 months ago, I began my journey as a blogger. I’d been stifled by the idleness of having had nothing meaningful to do during my spare time, but this all changed when I ventured into blogging. I doted on the concept of expressing myself on a professional yet personalised stage, and it quickly became the ideal supplement to placate my woes. Except, this only lasted 8 months. Roughly 2 months ago, I made the decision to take a step back from blogging for awhile. I wanted to revisit the unremarkable placidity of my bygone days. I wanted to express myself without being confined by the rules that I’d set for myself. I wanted to liberate myself from the shackles that had saved me. It’s all ironic, isn’t it?
Why I decided to take a break
The biggest goal I’d set for myself before my hiatus had been to publish daily posts or even weekly posts of my writing, but I was soon forced to acknowledge the reality that such a goal had been too daunting of a challenge for me given the commitments I had and with my temperament. Writing became a mental struggle. It was exhausting, and it only served to add more stress. I detested writing for the sake of it, and eventually started being disapproving of my own writing. By then, I knew I had to take some time away from it all.
What the break did for me
This hiatus gave my mind respite from the usual strains. I no longer felt the need to obsess with critically analysing everything I watch. I was once more graced by the joy of letting myself be carried away by a show, immersing in its enchanting storytelling and all else it had to offer. It felt natural and addictive. I no longer forced myself to think about what this or that signified in the grand scheme of things, like what a protagonist’s choice of weapon symbolised or what the heroine’s favourite colour hinted at. I managed to find more time to spend on other things, like sleep! But more than anything else, these past few months has let me realise how far I had strayed from my initial ambitions. It reminded me of why I wanted to write in the first place.
So, what now?
Well, I’ve realised that writing to me meant more than just putting out posts on a frequent basis. I’ve always wanted to write to the best of my ability, to write with a vigour and passion that would awe a reader. But the reality for someone like me is that it takes time, persistence and in fact the right amount of interest to be fully invested in expressing myself properly. As much as I get really uncomfortable leaving the website unattended for long periods of time, It might be healthier for me to only post my writing when I know that I can write satisfactorily. Quality over quantity I guess. We’ll see.
Thanks for reading, truly!
[Header image: pinterest]